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Are Boomers Really the Worst?

Legacy

A few weeks ago, I shared with my daughter Kelly this charming story told to me by her grandmother, her father’s mother. When Tim was about 7 years old, he was walking home past a local nursery lined with rows and rows of bright yellow, in full bloom, daffodils. Overwhelmed by the beauty, and thinking about how much his mother loved flowers, Tim reached down and picked as many as his little arms could hold.

A few minutes later, bursting with excitement, Tim walked through his front door and proudly handed the blooms to his mortified mother. After a trip back to the nursery, and many apologies, the nursery owner was grateful for the return and fully understood the passion in Tim’s young heart.

To mine and Kelly’s surprise, I had never told her that delightful story though I was certain I had. Several days later, Kelly shared with me how much that story tickled her grown kids. She then drifted off topic and said, “you know mom, a lot of family history is not being passed down from the boomer generation to their kids and grandkids.”

Now I must admit, I took issue with this statement. You see, I’m a writer, and many of my ancestors were too. And I’ve documented tons of stories for future generations. Plus, I have files and files of letters written by my ancestors dating as far back as the 1800’s. So, I was a bit surprised that Kelly felt I had not shared enough. But then I saw her point. Most of my stories are from my side of the family, and not her father’s.

Which broke my heart. But I get it. We’re now in an age where miles of pavement separate aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers, and extended family members. And since we boomers are living longer and we have the money and the energy to travel and keep up a fast-paced life, our thoughts aren’t generally on the ways we can help our grown kids. And if we’re to be honest, we’re all a bit like Tim Dillon’s aunt who in the rant below (starting at 53:00) says she’s entitled to go on cruises, and travel to Europe because she’s worked all her life for these privileges. 

https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon

Now, admittedly, I’ve lived the past 50 years surrounded by conservative Christians where the nuclear family is generally more important than outside that bubble. But even there, starting about 25 years ago, I saw the trend to disconnect from our grown kids when Kelly was pregnant with our first grandchild. That baby wasn’t even born yet when Christian friends started to caution Tim and me by saying, “be careful, or they’ll want you to babysit all the time.” Even when I shared my joy over hearing those little tikes call me Grandma, many of my friends responded, “Oh no, I’m just not ready to be a grandparent.” What???

But if my daughter longs for more connection, I can’t imagine the gaping holes left in the hearts of kids from divorce, IVF, and surrogacy. And if you doubt what I’m saying, I suggest you check out the website, Them Before Us where Katy Faust and her team work diligently to bring stories to the forefront of how failing to put kids needs before adult desires is destroying our nation.

I’m 67 years old. Which means I probably have a good 15 years left to build a different kind of legacy. And I’m determined to do it. So, what if, all us boomers took a pause on ourselves and really focused on our offspring? What if we did everything in our power to assist them emotionally, financially, and spiritually? I’m not talking about some kind of dysfunctional control, or letting them shirk their responsibilities. But what if we just eagerly stood by like an observant life guard, looked for the moments to offer help. Perhaps if we did, we might just change the world.

Are Boomers Really the Worst

Sex, Drugs, & Rock

Around the late 1990’s I was given a couple tickets to a Moody Blues concert. Now, I have to pause here and say, sometime in my late 30’s I realized rock music had a negative emotional effect on me. I assumed it was how the music took me back to the angst of my teen years, which were very troubling. But somehow, I it seemed listening to my favorite bands like Fleetwood Mac, Queen, and The Eagles lead me into a deep depression. At the time, I was in a brutal fight for my mental health, so I gave away all my tapes and albums.

But I always liked the Moody Blues. Especially since I enjoyed how the band combined classical with rock and roll. So, I talked my husband Tim, who never was a fan, into going.

That night, we found our seats about half way up the venue. To my surprise the amphitheater never filled up more than 25%. All around us were empty seats. 

When the band came out, I was taken back by how old they all were. I’m guessing they were in their mid to late 60’s. But, I couldn’t stop looking at all their gray hair and wrinkles as I mentally compared them to my staunch, dignified, grandfather. And I couldn’t help but wonder, if those old rock and rollers had some how not grown up. 

Fast forward to early 2019 and the buzz all over social media was around the upcoming 50th anniversary of the Woodstock music festival. To my dismay, many of my peers were ecstatic over the idea of revisiting the awe and wonder of the sex, drugs, and rock and roll revolution. Invites to various revival concerts popped up all over social media. Celebration after celebration of this “iconic” event were documented on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

And here’s where I’ll lose a lot of my friends. Because I really wanted to ask those folks celebrating the summer of “love,” how much have  you paid for your kids’ rehab???

You see, I never saw anything charming about Woodstock. Maybe when I was 13, I did. But after trudging through the vast wasteland caused by all the free sex, drugs, and rock and roll, I’m a bit jaded. And dumbfounded with my generations inability to see the bad fruit planted there. And the insistence we seem to have in continuing to push this hedonistic lifestyle in spite of its effect on our kids and grandkids. 

So, you will not want me around for your next Woodstock celebration. Because, I want all the geriatric rock starts to get off the doggone stage. And I want them all to be more like my grandfather. A true patriarch who, when things started to fall apart, had a way of stepping in and bringing calm. 

Tim Dillon and Tucker Carlson, in the interview below, are right about Woodstock. And I’m certain that that Moody Blues concert would sell out today. 

https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon

But back to my generations need to hang onto the notion that Woodstock somehow represented freedom and love. Because from any other generations perspective, I don’t think they’d see it that way. But why is it so hard to tell a boomer that. Is it because they feel free? Free of the pressure to grow up? 

So, I must ask, if we boomers are honest, didn’t we just pass many of our burdens on to our kids? Hasn’t our desire to live in a perpetual state of adolescence adversely affected them? In our quest to avoid adulthood, didn’t we just force them into an early maturity when we shrugged off adulthood and forced them to raise themselves? I think we did. If you’re unsure, how about asking your kids what they think? I did, and I was shocked by their answer. 

So, where do we go from here?

#boomers #genx #genchildhood #boomersbelike #silvertsunami #boomerimpact #silentgeneration #xennials 

Are Boomers Really the Worst?

I’m a voracious reader. I can’t help myself. Don’t put a printed page in front of me you don’t want me to read. You can call me nosey, and maybe that’s true. But I’m really just super curious. Have been all my life.

Part of that curiosity is a deep desire to figure out what other people are thinking. Not just their idea’s, but how they came to them. Which puts me on a constant quest for information. 

All that to say, about six months ago, I hired a social media coach to help me amp up my online game. And that’s pushed me out of every comfort zone in my writing world. And it made me question, what do I really have to say? Cause ever since Covid, my thoughts are not settling on the positive fluffy side of life. Instead, my head is filled with a whirlwind of mixed emotions as I watch the western world unravel around me. And that makes me want to write stuff I know will upset a lot of people. 

So, after spending months trying to wrestle my thoughts under control, I’ve decided to just put it out there and let it land where it may. 

But where do I start? Well, I finally figured it out. I’m starting with me, and my generation. The Baby Boomers. Because I now believe many of my peers are not aware of the contempt younger folks have for what they consider a selfish and vile generation. And I tend to think they have some valid points. 

Now, I don’t want to just be on a soap box pointing out faults. I want to change my world with the gift God gave me…writing. So, let’s talk about it. 

For years, my daughter Kelly, has been sharing with me her generations (genX) contempt for mine. At first it took me aback. But then I started paying attention to my peers.

Then all this came to a head last week when I listened to this interview between Tucker Carlson and the comedienne, Tim Dillion. (Check out their boomer rant that starts around the 53:00-minute mark.) What really took me by surprise was when Tucker said, “I hate the boomers. Always have.” He doesn’t even pause, or offer a caveat like, “…well not all of them.” His contempt for my generation rolled easily off his tongue. 

https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon

So, boomers, what should we do? We certainly can’t pretend this isn’t a thing. We must face it. And to be honest, the fruit of our generation doesn’t look very good. There’s a lot of tension between us and our kids. And just like any conflict resolution, I think we need listen, then take an honest look at ourselves and perhaps repent for a few things. Afterall, isn’t that the first step towards healing our land? 

So, watch the rant. Then share your thoughts. Are you guilty of anything there? Do you see yourself Tim’s rant? Huh?

Then stay tuned as I spend a few weeks, months, a year, idk, picking this whole thing apart one issue at a time. Like I said, I want to change my world. 

Start Heaven Today, Learn Something New

It started in my thirties. The need to push myself to see what else I could learn. I never wanted to settle. So I signed up for piano lessons with my kid’s teacher. Every week, with my music book tucked under my arm, I waited my turn to plink away. After four years, I wasn’t very good, but I proved to myself I could still learn new things.

That started a trend for the rest of my life. Every decade I would pick something new to learn.

In my forties, it was ballet. A friend of mine owned a studio in our town where most of her adult students had ballet experience. But as a kid, this tomboy never considered taking dance lessons. But every Monday for five years I stepped up to the barre and I plié’d. And to my surprise, I really liked ballet and wished I’d taken it when I was younger. 

When a move to Florida took me from the studio, and I faced another decade, I began to wonder what was next. Then in my early 50’s, my life began to unravel. Cancer took my husband Tim’s life leaving me in need of something to process my grief.

For years, Tim had begged me to get my motorcycle license. Ever since our teens, we had spent hours carving out turns on the country roads of Northern Virginia. 

So several months after his funeral, in the early morning dawn, I took my place on the motorcycle range. And for several weeks, I navigated shifting gears and slamming on the brakes and I got my motorcycle permit. 

For the next year, when the loneliness of Tim’s absence overcame me, I backed our bike out of the garage, and drove it around the lake near my home.  Once again I proved to myself that even in my 50’s, I could still learn something new.

Now in my late 60’s, the trend has not stopped. After years of being Tim’s carpentry assistant, I took on the task of renovating my little townhouse. Of course, my family helped, but I learned to cut my own angles on a chop saw as I hung my own trim. I learned to lay hardwood flooring and tile, all by myself. And the best part of all, I mastered the tape measure and all those insane sixteenths of an inch you need for fine art carpentry. 

It’s easy to grow old and think we know ourselves well. That we’re past the age to learn new things. But we humans are far more capable than we realize. Because our God created us to never stop learning new things.

I have a hunch that heaven will be much like this old earth. Only we’ll all have the benefit of endless time. 

So, what if the passions we have here on earth are what we take with us to eternity? What if we teach what we know to others? What if my ballerina friend teaches ballet classes there, and Tim teaches fine art cabinet making? What if one of the best parts of heaven is having endless time to learn and perfect new things? 

What have you not had time to learn that you wish would be there to learn in heaven?  Do you think I’m wrong? If so, tell me about it.

How Young are You?

I used to want more stuff. I kept a mental list of things to make my home cozier, make me look more stylish, or up my game as I drove down the road.

And I spent hours striving to achieve my goals.

But today, I want more moments. The ones you savor when you wake in the middle of the night. The ones that usually come at no cost. Moments like:

Josie and Papa 1

  • Sneaking in as my babies slept to hear their gentle breathing.
  • Grandkids dressed for bed in their Papa’s T-shirt. Because spending the night was a last minute decision.
  • The sound of the kids trying to be quiet on Christmas morning.
  • Finding my child, in a sea of faces, as their choir sang, “Jesus loves me this I know…”
  • Waking before dawn, stepping over sleeping children, in a tent, at the beach, so Tim and I could watch the sunrise.

So many moments filtered through my fingers. And now I wonder, did I pause enough and soak them in?

Maybe the true blessing of eternity is time. Time to savor the insignificant without thinking it mundane. To sit still until the sun rises fully in the sky. To never rush the moment. To fully appreciate the presence of a God who longs for my attention. Who decorates this world in His glory.

GK Chesterdon describes it beautifully:

Sunset“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again;” and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”

Maybe, our goal is to learn how to exult in monotony. To never tire of the simple things. To savor a moment until it floods us in His glory, keeping us forever in His infancy.