Your Gratitude Honors My Loss

Father Lederhosn

My Father

It’s Father’s Day and I’m on Facebook reading tributes to many of my friend’s dads. On days like this it’s hard to not count my loss. To not imagine how different I’d be if my father had loved and cared for me. It’s hard to not think it unfair. And hard not to blame God for that unfairness.

If you don’t know my father story, please read it here.

Sometimes in Christian circles, it’s difficult to honestly talk about deep loss. To mention the emptiness and challenges faced when you clearly are set at a disadvantage. And too often pat responses like, but God is the father of the fatherless, or He allowed you to suffer so you can help others, just add to my frustration.

So today words like, God blessed me with a great dad, were hard to hear. If true, does it mean He cursed me with mine? Sometimes it feels that way. Especially after I crash and burn, yet again, because of a weakness that’s an offshoot of that old wound.

But I want my friends to acknowledge the blessings of their great fathers. I want them to proclaim them everywhere they can. Because, as Brene Brown says in, Gifts of Imprefection, “If you can be grateful for what you have, you honor what I’ve lost.”

In an odd sort of way, your gratitude puts my loss where it belongs. Deep in the rubble of this broken world. And it reminds me of the model set when God created us.

And right in the middle of that brokenness, is exactly where Christ dwelt. And from that pit, He spoke these words:

  • Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  • Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
  • Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled.
  • Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.
  • Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
  • Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.
  • Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  • Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
  • Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

And those words soothe me. They lift me from the pit, and set my soul on higher ground. They remind me, I am not made for this world. And a better one is yet to come.

NegveskyEdit_9-21-11 (30)

For Tim. Our kids were blessed to call you dad, and our grandkids blessed to call you Papa.



  1. You and I have both felt deep rejection from our fathers and yes, we are blessed beyond measure that we have a Heavenly Fathers who fills the gap!! You always have a way of penning it!! Love you and your heart❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for honestly exposing what many of us know. These & other holidays open emotional wounds, if we allow it. We may not have had good role models, but we can be one. So sorry about your husband’s promotion, but the picture tells a story of a legacy of love.


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