Hey, Mr. Bloomberg, You’re Not Even Close

As Christians around the world prepare for Holy Week, former New York mayor, Michael Bloomberg, after telling a reporter about the millions he’s getting ready to donate to gun control, made this observation,

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.“I am telling you, if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”

The quote was so bizarre I googled it just to make sure it was true. I found the reporters explanation from the original New York Times article,

“Mr. Bloomberg was introspective as he spoke, and seemed both restless and wistful. When he sat down for the interview, it was a few days before his 50th college reunion. His mortality has started dawning on him, at 72. And he admitted he was a bit taken aback by how many of his former classmates had been appearing in the “in memoriam” pages of his school newsletter. But if he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation.”

I don’t know how Bloomberg earned his money. And I’m certain he worked hard for it. And he apparently has given a lot of it away to the causes he feels are important.

Now, If I’d read this at any other time of the year, I would have shook my head and moved on. But I read it after listening over and over to the Leeland song Via Dolorosa. And these words were fresh on my heart,

He traded His crown for a crown of thorns
He picked up His cross and laid down His sword
He stumbled down the road, bruised and beaten for me
Jesus walked the way of grief, Hallelujah
On the Via Dolorosa
All my sin was carried away
And the power of Hell was broken
As He gave His life away

Jesus had it all. And He gave it all for me. I’m sorry Mr. Bloomberg, you’re not even close.

I’m so glad I don’t have to compete with the generosity of Mr. Bloomberg. And as I reflect on this most holy time of year, I’m once again humbled by how little Jesus asks of me. And by how much He gave to save me from my sin.

And I pray Mr. Bloomberg finds his way to the cross.

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Photo Therapy

Going throughDaniel 3 years old an old box of photos, I ran across this picture of Daniel. There’s something about the ordinariness of this moment and the sleepiness in his eyes, that melts this mother’s heart. I want to reach right in there and rub that bare little back again.

I also found this picture of Kelly and suddenly, the memory of our morning ritual of combing and braiding her hair came flooding bacDaniel & Kelly 1979k. I can vividly remember the posture of her body as she leaned against me as I stroked her long brown hair. Our conversation was usually soft and gentle as we prepared for the day.

Picture after picture took me back years. Each one represented a moment in time. There were vacations to the beach and the mountains. Graduations, birthdays, and holidays. Through pictures I could relive my children’s entire childhood.

I have a vast collection of memories built up over the years. My mind has recorded them in brilliant detail. Unfortunately, it has hung onto the bad ones as well.

But, we can choose the thoughts that wander in and out of our minds. Even something as simple as the look in my son’s eyes, or the many mornings spent in gentle quiet conversation with my daughter, can have a powerful effect on me. Such uneventful moments that years later still have the ability to bless my life.

Kelly, Ellen, Daniel 1982I have been told when we relive a memory; our bodies physically experience that moment all over again. Just thinking about past episodes of anger, rage, or tragedy causes all the wear and tear on our bodies that we suffered the first time we lived through the event. Our bodies are unaware that we are not in the midst of the moment again.

Unfortunately, it seems more difficult to select the memories that will heal us as opposed to those that bring us more harm.

I suppose that is why the Bible urges us to bring every thought captive to the will of God. Daily, we have to choose our good memories over our bad.

Photographs are a great opportunity to trigger those moments. If you have them in boxes, take them out and put them in albums. If you have them in albums, take them out and explore their magic. Hang them on your walls. Relive them one by one until your heart is full. I promise you, it will be a great source of therapy.

 

Just Don’t Do It

MartinsEvery week it seems, a celebrity couple announces they are divorcing. The press releases all sound the same,

“We still love each other. And since we have children together, we’re still a family. But…we’ve chosen to live apart.”

The latest of course was the sage Gwyneth Paltrow. She classed it up a bit by using the fancy term uncoupling, but she’s nonetheless, getting a divorce.

Cocoa Beach

Tim and Me at Cocoa Beach

It’s hard to watch from the sidelines and not think these people have it all. That beauty, a delicious figure, and tons of money somehow makes life easier.

But, some things never change. And no matter how many statistics point to the devastation divorce causes our society, our nation continues to tear apart our families at an epic rate.

Back when Tim and I struggled to get along, divorce always seemed just around the corner. But every time I came to the brink, I looked at the couples we knew who were separating, and their lives didn’t look any easier. In fact, they seemed to have more problems after the divorce than Tim and I did staying married.

To me the reality was, nobody was ever going to love my kids as much as me, except Tim. The only person who would could possibly share the same passion I had for their futures, was Tim. The only person whose heart would break for them as deeply as mine, was Tim. And the only person who could ever be as excited as me over their successes, you guessed it, was Tim.

Kelly and Dan

Our daughter Kelly and her husband Dan

Now I know there are exceptions to that rule. That there are stepparents out there who love deeply, care passionately, and do an amazing job raising someone else’s kids. And they deserve a lot of credit. But frankly, they’re rare. Far too rare considering America’s divorce rate.

I also know there are some relationships that are dangerous. That you can’t make people treat you right. But those are rare as well.

Daniel and Heather

Our son Daniel and his wife Heather

Both my children know my standard – Stay married like your father and I did. That gives them a wide path to stumble on. Just persevere, hang in there and never give up. Fight for your family. Offer grace often. Keep on picking up the pieces and putting your relationship back together. Your children’s well-being depends upon it.

Marriage is hard. And clearly having it all doesn’t make it any easier. Otherwise, Gwyneth and Chris would not be…ummm…uncoupling.

Crossing the Valley of Grief

From the mome100_0014nt we got Tim’s cancer diagnosis, I knew a vast valley lay before me. I knew, save a miracle, that in the not so distant future, he’d be gone, and I’d be left to grieve.

For two and half years, I dreaded it. And no matter how much care Tim required, having him around was always better than losing him. And the longer I could delay that grief, the better.

I’d experienced enough loss to know grief of that magnitude would take at least a year to muddle through. And there wouldn’t be much I could do to rush the journey. So after Tim died, I gave myself the grace to endure whatever the year held.

But I never expected the grief to go on at that level for another year.

It swallowed me. Many mornings it weighed on me like an x-ray blanket at the dentist. When I stood up, it pressed against me on all sides. I questioned whether I’d ever be myself again.

That’s when I stopped and took an inventory. Who did I have to lean on? How do I reach out and share my fears for my own well beingIMG_2572? What did I need to change to start the healing process?

Then I took it all to the foot of the cross. There I asked God to reveal who the best people were to help me. After all, not everyone is capable of walking with us for that fourth or fifth mile. And Tim’s illness and death was a full journey on its own.

The list was short. But it was complete. I needed a couple ladies with good ears to listen. I needed to talk about Tim. To articulate that big empty hole in my life. To hear myself tell myself I was going to be okay. To hear them voice their confidence in me.

I also needed an intense exercise program. One that included a plan for healthier eating.

DSC00348Finally, I made it through year two, and rounded the corner on my grief.

Now It’s a rare morning when I awake feeling that suffocating weight. The empty hole is still there, but I honor it for what it is – the vast value Tim filled in my life. And I welcome the notion that I’ll always miss him.

Today, I’m no longer the woman who started this journey. And my decision to turn everything over to Him, showed me just how capable He is of doing exceedingly more than I ever imagined.

C.A.R.E.

ImageThis past weekend at a conference center in Titusville Florida, I met forty five amazing people. For two days, we spread out in groups of three or four and shared priceless moments of times God “Got a Hold” of our lives.

Many told stories of hitting rock bottom after some sort of addiction or despair. They shared how in what seemed like impossible situations, God showed up, lifted them out of their pit, and changed their lives.

Overwhelmed by what Jesus did for them, they now share their lives with people in the same situations. Instead of keeping their struggle to themselves, they regularly meet with hurting souls in coffee shops or restaurants all over the city of Orlando. They attend support groups to provide encouragement to fellow strugglers.

One girl, at the hands of her father, suffered unmentionable shame. After learning that two thirds of women inmates suffered abuse as children, she visits the county jail and shares her story of hope. One couple, after spending years trying to pull their own daughter up from addiction, started a ministry to hurting parents. Another couple, every Thursday night, drives over an hour to participate in a support group for alcoholics. They told me nothing else they tried worked. But the love and care at our church pulled them through. Now they’re passionate about helping others.

This group of Christians is part of Discovery Church’s C.A.R.E Ministries.Image

And their love for the broken seeped deep into my soul and lingers still.

Jesus said the healthy have no need of a doctor. And usually it’s the sick who get well and reach back to help those in need. For the healthy often struggle to understand the unhealthy.

It’s said that all religions eventually navigate toward a set of rules. And this is so true for the Christian Church. After all, it’s much easier to follow rules than to love the unlovable. But that’s what Jesus did. He scoffed at the Pharisee’s. He defied their laws. And He reached down into the pits of hell and set the captives free.

Jesus never called us to become Christians. He said, “Follow me.” Then he went out and ministered to the most rejected and vile members of society. So shouldn’t we do the same?

I tip my hat to the folks who make up Discovery’s C.A.R.E. Ministries. You are all far better Christians than me. I commended you for your passion for the lost. And you are the unsung heroes of my church.