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Are Boomers Really the Worst?
Legacy
A few weeks ago, I shared with my daughter Kelly this charming story told to me by her grandmother, her father’s mother. When Tim was about 7 years old, he was walking home past a local nursery lined with rows and rows of bright yellow, in full bloom, daffodils. Overwhelmed by the beauty, and thinking about how much his mother loved flowers, Tim reached down and picked as many as his little arms could hold.
A few minutes later, bursting with excitement, Tim walked through his front door and proudly handed the blooms to his mortified mother. After a trip back to the nursery, and many apologies, the nursery owner was grateful for the return and fully understood the passion in Tim’s young heart.
To mine and Kelly’s surprise, I had never told her that delightful story though I was certain I had. Several days later, Kelly shared with me how much that story tickled her grown kids. She then drifted off topic and said, “you know mom, a lot of family history is not being passed down from the boomer generation to their kids and grandkids.”
Now I must admit, I took issue with this statement. You see, I’m a writer, and many of my ancestors were too. And I’ve documented tons of stories for future generations. Plus, I have files and files of letters written by my ancestors dating as far back as the 1800’s. So, I was a bit surprised that Kelly felt I had not shared enough. But then I saw her point. Most of my stories are from my side of the family, and not her father’s.
Which broke my heart. But I get it. We’re now in an age where miles of pavement separate aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers, and extended family members. And since we boomers are living longer and we have the money and the energy to travel and keep up a fast-paced life, our thoughts aren’t generally on the ways we can help our grown kids. And if we’re to be honest, we’re all a bit like Tim Dillon’s aunt who in the rant below (starting at 53:00) says she’s entitled to go on cruises, and travel to Europe because she’s worked all her life for these privileges.
https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon
Now, admittedly, I’ve lived the past 50 years surrounded by conservative Christians where the nuclear family is generally more important than outside that bubble. But even there, starting about 25 years ago, I saw the trend to disconnect from our grown kids when Kelly was pregnant with our first grandchild. That baby wasn’t even born yet when Christian friends started to caution Tim and me by saying, “be careful, or they’ll want you to babysit all the time.” Even when I shared my joy over hearing those little tikes call me Grandma, many of my friends responded, “Oh no, I’m just not ready to be a grandparent.” What???
But if my daughter longs for more connection, I can’t imagine the gaping holes left in the hearts of kids from divorce, IVF, and surrogacy. And if you doubt what I’m saying, I suggest you check out the website, Them Before Us where Katy Faust and her team work diligently to bring stories to the forefront of how failing to put kids needs before adult desires is destroying our nation.
I’m 67 years old. Which means I probably have a good 15 years left to build a different kind of legacy. And I’m determined to do it. So, what if, all us boomers took a pause on ourselves and really focused on our offspring? What if we did everything in our power to assist them emotionally, financially, and spiritually? I’m not talking about some kind of dysfunctional control, or letting them shirk their responsibilities. But what if we just eagerly stood by like an observant life guard, looked for the moments to offer help. Perhaps if we did, we might just change the world.
Are Boomers Really the Worst?
I’m a voracious reader. I can’t help myself. Don’t put a printed page in front of me you don’t want me to read. You can call me nosey, and maybe that’s true. But I’m really just super curious. Have been all my life.
Part of that curiosity is a deep desire to figure out what other people are thinking. Not just their idea’s, but how they came to them. Which puts me on a constant quest for information.
All that to say, about six months ago, I hired a social media coach to help me amp up my online game. And that’s pushed me out of every comfort zone in my writing world. And it made me question, what do I really have to say? Cause ever since Covid, my thoughts are not settling on the positive fluffy side of life. Instead, my head is filled with a whirlwind of mixed emotions as I watch the western world unravel around me. And that makes me want to write stuff I know will upset a lot of people.
So, after spending months trying to wrestle my thoughts under control, I’ve decided to just put it out there and let it land where it may.
But where do I start? Well, I finally figured it out. I’m starting with me, and my generation. The Baby Boomers. Because I now believe many of my peers are not aware of the contempt younger folks have for what they consider a selfish and vile generation. And I tend to think they have some valid points.
Now, I don’t want to just be on a soap box pointing out faults. I want to change my world with the gift God gave me…writing. So, let’s talk about it.
For years, my daughter Kelly, has been sharing with me her generations (genX) contempt for mine. At first it took me aback. But then I started paying attention to my peers.
Then all this came to a head last week when I listened to this interview between Tucker Carlson and the comedienne, Tim Dillion. (Check out their boomer rant that starts around the 53:00-minute mark.) What really took me by surprise was when Tucker said, “I hate the boomers. Always have.” He doesn’t even pause, or offer a caveat like, “…well not all of them.” His contempt for my generation rolled easily off his tongue.
https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon
So, boomers, what should we do? We certainly can’t pretend this isn’t a thing. We must face it. And to be honest, the fruit of our generation doesn’t look very good. There’s a lot of tension between us and our kids. And just like any conflict resolution, I think we need listen, then take an honest look at ourselves and perhaps repent for a few things. Afterall, isn’t that the first step towards healing our land?
So, watch the rant. Then share your thoughts. Are you guilty of anything there? Do you see yourself Tim’s rant? Huh?
Then stay tuned as I spend a few weeks, months, a year, idk, picking this whole thing apart one issue at a time. Like I said, I want to change my world.
She was a Proud Matriarch, But Probably Not Like You Think
ma·tri·arch ˈmā-trē-ˌärk : a mother who is head and ruler of her family and descendants
I can still hear the way she said my name. Her polished Texas accent slowly annunciating each syllable. Ehhh-len, is the best I can do to spell it. My grandmother, my mother’s mother, was highly educated, fiercely strong, and oh so outspoken. But you best be prepared, her sharp wit could cut you to the core.
At a picnic in 1921, she and my grandfather met and instantly fell madly in love, despite both being engaged to others. By the end of the year, they were married. By 1927, they had three girls, my mother being the oldest.
Taking charge of her children’s education, in the 1930’s, my grandmother homeschooled her kids. And while raising and educating them, she went back to school and got a master degree in education. She learned woodcarving from a master in Dallas. She read voraciously, and memorized poetry. Plus, she spent hours making crafts she sold to local shops.
And every time she came from Dallas to Virginia for a visit, she brought a suitcase of clothes, and a suitcase of a craft or cooking project to keep us kids busy.
Once she paid me $10 to memorize Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If.” On another visit, she kept using the word “eons” because it was the word of the week she had chosen to learn. And part of that “learning” was to use it often in a sentence. Which she challenged me to do with her.
When my grandfather’s job took him around the world, she excitedly went along. Not one to let a life experience go to waste, she used her adventures to educated her grandkids. Letters filled with the history and maps of exotic (remember this was the 60’s) places like Hong Kong, Nigeria, and Pakistan, filled our mailbox. And as I read them, my world got bigger and bigger.
At no time did my grandmother ever stop trying to influence her flock. And as I enter the twilight years of my life, I think back on all I learned from this incredible woman who never lived in the same time zone as me.
I’ve had the career. I’ve climbed the corporate ladder. I’ve battled in the rat race for over 40 years. But nothing comes close to the job of putting my energy and wisdom into raising my family up in a world that doesn’t value the role of a strong matriarch who puts her family first.
That said, I think it’s time we take a step back and reevaluate the the important role of a strong Matriarch. And I’ll argue in favor of my opinion with one question: Are our kids better off since mother’s outsourced their leadership role at home in order to lead in the marketplace?
What say you?
Slipstream 