life

Are Boomers Really the Worst

Sex, Drugs, & Rock

Around the late 1990’s I was given a couple tickets to a Moody Blues concert. Now, I have to pause here and say, sometime in my late 30’s I realized rock music had a negative emotional effect on me. I assumed it was how the music took me back to the angst of my teen years, which were very troubling. But somehow, I it seemed listening to my favorite bands like Fleetwood Mac, Queen, and The Eagles lead me into a deep depression. At the time, I was in a brutal fight for my mental health, so I gave away all my tapes and albums.

But I always liked the Moody Blues. Especially since I enjoyed how the band combined classical with rock and roll. So, I talked my husband Tim, who never was a fan, into going.

That night, we found our seats about half way up the venue. To my surprise the amphitheater never filled up more than 25%. All around us were empty seats. 

When the band came out, I was taken back by how old they all were. I’m guessing they were in their mid to late 60’s. But, I couldn’t stop looking at all their gray hair and wrinkles as I mentally compared them to my staunch, dignified, grandfather. And I couldn’t help but wonder, if those old rock and rollers had some how not grown up. 

Fast forward to early 2019 and the buzz all over social media was around the upcoming 50th anniversary of the Woodstock music festival. To my dismay, many of my peers were ecstatic over the idea of revisiting the awe and wonder of the sex, drugs, and rock and roll revolution. Invites to various revival concerts popped up all over social media. Celebration after celebration of this “iconic” event were documented on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

And here’s where I’ll lose a lot of my friends. Because I really wanted to ask those folks celebrating the summer of “love,” how much have  you paid for your kids’ rehab???

You see, I never saw anything charming about Woodstock. Maybe when I was 13, I did. But after trudging through the vast wasteland caused by all the free sex, drugs, and rock and roll, I’m a bit jaded. And dumbfounded with my generations inability to see the bad fruit planted there. And the insistence we seem to have in continuing to push this hedonistic lifestyle in spite of its effect on our kids and grandkids. 

So, you will not want me around for your next Woodstock celebration. Because, I want all the geriatric rock starts to get off the doggone stage. And I want them all to be more like my grandfather. A true patriarch who, when things started to fall apart, had a way of stepping in and bringing calm. 

Tim Dillon and Tucker Carlson, in the interview below, are right about Woodstock. And I’m certain that that Moody Blues concert would sell out today. 

https://tuckercarlson.com/tucker-show-tim-dillon

But back to my generations need to hang onto the notion that Woodstock somehow represented freedom and love. Because from any other generations perspective, I don’t think they’d see it that way. But why is it so hard to tell a boomer that. Is it because they feel free? Free of the pressure to grow up? 

So, I must ask, if we boomers are honest, didn’t we just pass many of our burdens on to our kids? Hasn’t our desire to live in a perpetual state of adolescence adversely affected them? In our quest to avoid adulthood, didn’t we just force them into an early maturity when we shrugged off adulthood and forced them to raise themselves? I think we did. If you’re unsure, how about asking your kids what they think? I did, and I was shocked by their answer. 

So, where do we go from here?

#boomers #genx #genchildhood #boomersbelike #silvertsunami #boomerimpact #silentgeneration #xennials 

She was a Proud Matriarch, But Probably Not Like You Think

ma·​tri·​arch ˈmā-trē-ˌärk : a mother who is head and ruler of her family and descendants

I can still hear the way she said my name. Her polished Texas accent slowly annunciating each syllable. Ehhh-len, is the best I can do to spell it. My grandmother, my mother’s mother, was highly educated, fiercely strong, and oh so outspoken. But you best be prepared, her sharp wit could cut you to the core. 

At a picnic in 1921, she and my grandfather met and instantly fell madly in love, despite both being engaged to others. By the end of the year, they were married. By 1927, they had three girls, my mother being the oldest. 

Taking charge of her children’s education, in the 1930’s, my grandmother homeschooled her kids. And while raising and educating them, she went back to school and got a master degree in education. She learned woodcarving from a master in Dallas. She read voraciously, and memorized poetry. Plus, she spent hours making crafts she sold to local shops. 

Arlington VA 1967

And every time she came from Dallas to Virginia for a visit, she brought a suitcase of clothes, and a suitcase of a craft or cooking project to keep us kids busy. 

Once she paid me $10 to memorize Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If.” On another visit, she kept using the word “eons” because it was the word of the week she had chosen to learn. And part of that “learning” was to use it often in a sentence. Which she challenged me to do with her.

Karachi Pakistan 1953

When my grandfather’s job took him around the world, she excitedly went along. Not one to let a life experience go to waste, she used her adventures to educated her grandkids. Letters filled with the history and maps of exotic (remember this was the 60’s) places like Hong Kong, Nigeria, and Pakistan, filled our mailbox. And as I read them, my world got bigger and bigger. 

At no time did my grandmother ever stop trying to influence her flock. And as I enter the twilight years of my life, I think back on all I learned from this incredible woman who never lived in the same time zone as me.

I’ve had the career. I’ve climbed the corporate ladder. I’ve battled in the rat race for over 40 years. But nothing comes close to the job of putting my energy and wisdom into raising my family up in a world that doesn’t value the role of a strong matriarch who puts her family first. 

That said, I think it’s time we take a step back and reevaluate the the important role of a strong Matriarch. And I’ll argue in favor of my opinion with one question: Are our kids better off since mother’s outsourced their leadership role at home in order to lead in the marketplace? 

What say you?